Bubbled over

I watched a really cool Pixar tribute video today - 25 years of awesome.
Those kids just know how to do, you know?

Anyways, it got me thinking.   I get sad.  I get sad when I think about this:
Now Woody, he's been my pal for as long as I can remember. He's brave, like a cowboy should be. And kind, and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special, is he'll never give up on you... ever. He'll be there for you, no matter what.

And this:
I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.

And this:
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?


And what it ends up being is a lot of sadness around happy memories.  Happiness that is sad because it's only half...  Like this:

Who is your Be-Fri?  Have you lost your Be-Fri? 
What quotes make you feel sadness because of their happy memories?

Reading: Love Wins

Recently Watched: Scott Pilgrim v.s. the World

Freegal Download this week: Adele - 21
Happy Birthday: Long Lost Be-Fri

Bubbles

what bubbles up in me today is anger...  

Why?
I don't know but I am pretty sure it is self-inflicted.  Isn't it always?

The whole thing is about me.  Just wrapped up a fund raiser, ramping up asks for the next one (check back this week - it is EPIC), and when that is done I have four weeks until the next one...  WHY!?!  What is the point of my committing to a million things all the time?

THEN. 
then.
There are mommy & me music and mommy & me yoga and Moms at the Park and wearethebestmomseverbecausewedontworkandweareskinnyandvegananddonthavebeerbellies groups...

Kill my brain.  For real.   I can not go to mommy and me music class at 10 a.m. on Wednesday.  I ride the bus.  My son is on a schedule developed by his angelic caregivers to provide consistency.  I am a one man circus from 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. Monday - Friday (sometimes 6 a.m. - 9 p.m., with an occaisional Saturday thrown in for fun!)   I keep the ball rolling and make it look easy (It is what I do!).  I get to where I hate it on a semi-monthly basis, but really, I love my job.

Over-commitment. Mom guilt. Exhaustion. Complaining. It makes me angry!  

My son loves bubbles. 
Bubbles is the word of the week.  Maybe I can work it out and get to a place where "bubbles" will spark something positive for me to write, but you know what?  Today, I will own it.  I am angry... at me.

Food (but not really)

This week's topic is food and I am choosing to blog only once because I don't have a  lot to say around this subject.   I feel like food and I have a love/hate relationship.  The fact is, Americans in general are terrible eaters and we are making ourselves more and more unhealthy every day, but boy are we enjoying it...    That is how it is.  

I think what is more important is that it is world water week.  I think we need to talk about the fact that 1 in 8 people do not have clean water.  WHAT!?!  yeah - that is right - 1 in 8.
So stop reading this blog and check out one or all of the sites below:

Living Water International

blood:water mission

20 Liters

waiting

it's worth it.

typically.

I mean really.  Waiting is really almost always worth it.

It makes the end product way more valuable.  I can promise - space mountain after standing in line for a bit is definitely more fun than space mountain with no line at all.  Of course, the best is space mountain with the one with the lights on... 

I have a lot of experience waiting.  Please trust me.  It's worth the wait.  Usually. 

What did you wait for that was worth it? 

we all have to do it

but it is pretty much agreed - we all hate it!

You know what though, sometimes its nice to have to stop for a few.  Like at the mall.  Or in the city - just be where you are for a second.  Waiting.  Or just enjoying the place that you are or the time that you have.  

I will say though - there are some times when it just sucks.  Like when you are done being pregnant.  Or your friends are far away.  Or you have a big vacation coming up... 

That is why its good to have a go to song:

Kindness 2

When I think about kindness it's usually such a trivial idea.  It doesn't really mean anything to anyone. The way I heard it the most of my life was as a part of the phrase - "kill them with kindness."   That works and is a good idea, but why can't we just be kind.  I say it a lot to people - be nice.  Same idea.

 What the duck, Jerry?

So the thing is - I can define this word best with people.  Like I did yesterday, like I do every day.  I love people and I like using them as adjectives...  

Kindness is chosen family.  

Happy Birthday, Brother

 Kindness is commitment to a shared goal. 

my child's other parents

I am thankfully surrounded by kindness.  Where is kindness in your life?  Who is kind to you?  What does kindness look like?  (I know I asked yesterday, but no one has answered...) 

Kindness - Catching up!

oops.  I missed a week. 
It was bound to happen.   Life is happening all around us all the time... 

I will start with kindness today and see if this turns out to be the week that I catch up. No promises.

Kindness for me looks like this:

This is my aunt, uncle, her children and my son on the day of his dedication. They were some of our very few family members who were able to make it.  That woman their in the middle - not holding the baby - she is an angel.   She is my half sister's adopted mother.  She is one of the kindest and most generous people I know.  They are a wonderful family and I am so happy that when they adopted my lil sister, they also adopted me and my boys.  They look after us and invite us for holidays since neither of us have parents here in town.  And the love and kindness flow...  its unbelievable. 

She's a nurse and the older of two sisters and five brothers.  Seven kids.  She rules the roost.  She makes it work as best it can in its current state...  She is kindness and determination embodied.  

She gave my sister the one thing no one else could - a mother.  That is the most kind thing I can think of.

More kind people are just around the corner...
Who do you think is kind?  What does kindness look like to you? 

It never happens that way...

I wanted to write several posts on this week's word: Music.  I was so excited about it.  I wanted to talk about all the things music does for us, all the people I know who are so good a making music, about how it defines my city - I had all these things planned.  

But it never happens the way we think it will.  Life is a magical journey with twists and turns and surprises and falls and climbs.  This past Sunday my grandfather passed away.  We were not close.  He has been very ill for a very long time.  It was not so sad that he was gone because I like to believe that the afterlife makes us complete people again.  It was sad to see those I love grieving.  It was sad that I won't have the chance to hear him tell stories of his life again.

The thing that makes it most sad was that I had to watch my father grieve alone.  He alienated his entire family from himself.  He created a world of misery around himself and then he had to suffer.  The worst part was that when I thought about not letting his mistakes stand between us I remembered that the second I got near him he would absolve himself in his mind.   He is the victim.  He believes he has been hurt by us and pushed away from us out of our own desire. 

Now he will know what it is really like to live without a father.  To feel like there is something missing. Something I have lived with my whole life.  And the sad part is, it wont matter.  That is what addiction does to you. 

So I am praying for all those out there who have fathers or are fathers - to take the time to appreciate one another and if at all possible, make peace.   I am so fortunate to have been able to look at my father this week without anger.  Forgiveness is the first step in our own healing and overcoming and I highly recommend it.  Forgiveness doesn't mean allowing a hurtful person back in, but it lets you recognize their damages and faults and see them through His eyes.

And now for some music...